why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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