...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
