11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
