I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i out mim tonsoeep
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