Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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