lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
