i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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