no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
