And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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