if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
