he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
