My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
