good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
