I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
