So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
