But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
