he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
