were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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