Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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