If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
