If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
