Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
