Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
