I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
