Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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