Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
