she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm at about main and main street
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
