I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize