My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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