you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
