i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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