stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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