Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
