God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
