i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
