You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
