I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
