Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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