My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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