never play flip cup with pint glasses
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
