I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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