We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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