So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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