If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
