eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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