im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
