There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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