She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
