Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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