"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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