I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
