he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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