remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
